outside looking in.

It seems to happen oddly enough that I tend to be the new kid on the block. Not by choice and assent but rather of necessity.
so many times I lack the "stories,Jokes,etc" that seem to permeate the more tightly wound social circles, and while everyone I meet is always accepting, In the long run I am destined to be in the outer circles.

While to most this may seem like a trivial matter and one of minute importance, I can attest to nothing more awkward than being the third wheel in a circle of friends.
they feel awkward and want to do certain things or have done them, or want to relate and revel in
past fun or sultry experiences and you haven't a notion of what it is and end up breaking the flow or others fun. They then usually fix this problem by going about it anyhow, just somewhere else or
a newly placed "party location" ha.

None of this is a fault to them, they have lifetime memories and variants of fun they enjoy, and flow with. The only problem is...you where not there when they did all these things or are not as close or intimate as them, so by default you are a intruder and the better option usually is to be polite and show up to see and be seen then exit stage left so that they can enjoy thier revelry to the full.

I just happen to be in this position allot because of our moving and the inability to live with or develop the long-term and potent friendships that frankly I envy in others. I have many times just not lived anywhere long enough to develop these and someday I home to.
in the meantime I suppose I will make many a graceful exit and thank the lord he gave me interests to make up for any lacks, I should be thankful I guess for entry into any "circle of trust" that may come my way and trust him that I can develop the deeper friendships that would be fun and enjoyable.

I suppose many times it may be pride to not fully jump into new situations that arise ,and this I will have to change but in the opposite hand I also wonder what it would have been like to have time enough to cultivate some longer friendships? in short I will have to make the best of it all, and deal with the rest as it comes, no matter pray for the grace to see it through for that makes good friendships no? The trying times...? Well I hope so and to those of you out there still peering through the looking glass at the excitement within. Take heart, it can only get better!