christmas love

What do you miss about someone you like or love?
If it’s your family, is it the friendship and camaraderie you cannot find anywhere else?
What if they are your best friends? Does it hurt when they leave, or is it harder
to face the fear of getting bored with each other?

What if it is someone you love but are apart from and you miss the affection, love, or smile that brightens your day? Someone you live with and dearly love or miss when you are apart?
Or perhaps the person you have become close to that means allot to you?
Your children, or just others kids you care for.
many times its hard to leave one to spend time with another, I suppose that may be how the lord felt when he left all to live and save us whom he loved as well.
He left it all for us, for me, that I could know his love. I had the wonderful gift of being with my family who I love allot this Christmas; we have not been all together for 3 years.
I was both tearful and happy at how beautiful, grown up and mature they have become,
to see them now made me so thankful, and at the same time I missed those I had become close to recently and wished I was with them ha.I suppose I am the classic 'I want my cake, and to eat it too”, but I have been blessed just to spend any time with them at all, It was a gift
from the lord for sure.

I wish that each person out there could feel the love I have from my family, biological and those
I live with and adopted as mine. It truly is the best gift, it sounds corny I know but...
hey so I am sentimental, I have to say the lord has given me some great family and friends,
and they are better than any gift I could ever gift.

So this is to you my family and dearest friends, I thank you for being there for me no
matter the time, and for not only being my family but my friends.
They say it’s a shame you can choose your friends but not your family, well
I would choose my family. Each of them is unique and special and wonderful in so many ways.
I have made some wonderful friends this year and to you I want to say thank you, I love you and you have helped me get through changes, you know who you are and I love you more than I can say, hopefully one day I will be there for you too.

So good night, good luck, merry Christmas and a happy, naughty new year.
I love you all and to those who I cannot in the flesh...I hug, kiss and pray for you. And those of you I can... hmm well good things are coming to you.xoxoxoxo

outside looking in.

It seems to happen oddly enough that I tend to be the new kid on the block. Not by choice and assent but rather of necessity.
so many times I lack the "stories,Jokes,etc" that seem to permeate the more tightly wound social circles, and while everyone I meet is always accepting, In the long run I am destined to be in the outer circles.

While to most this may seem like a trivial matter and one of minute importance, I can attest to nothing more awkward than being the third wheel in a circle of friends.
they feel awkward and want to do certain things or have done them, or want to relate and revel in
past fun or sultry experiences and you haven't a notion of what it is and end up breaking the flow or others fun. They then usually fix this problem by going about it anyhow, just somewhere else or
a newly placed "party location" ha.

None of this is a fault to them, they have lifetime memories and variants of fun they enjoy, and flow with. The only problem is...you where not there when they did all these things or are not as close or intimate as them, so by default you are a intruder and the better option usually is to be polite and show up to see and be seen then exit stage left so that they can enjoy thier revelry to the full.

I just happen to be in this position allot because of our moving and the inability to live with or develop the long-term and potent friendships that frankly I envy in others. I have many times just not lived anywhere long enough to develop these and someday I home to.
in the meantime I suppose I will make many a graceful exit and thank the lord he gave me interests to make up for any lacks, I should be thankful I guess for entry into any "circle of trust" that may come my way and trust him that I can develop the deeper friendships that would be fun and enjoyable.

I suppose many times it may be pride to not fully jump into new situations that arise ,and this I will have to change but in the opposite hand I also wonder what it would have been like to have time enough to cultivate some longer friendships? in short I will have to make the best of it all, and deal with the rest as it comes, no matter pray for the grace to see it through for that makes good friendships no? The trying times...? Well I hope so and to those of you out there still peering through the looking glass at the excitement within. Take heart, it can only get better!

my prayer.

Lord help me love you more with every passing day, despite the trials, pain or disappointments that may come. Help me thank you for not always getting it right so that I
may put others happiness before my own.

If discouragement seems more that I can bear,
let my tear-stained face sing testament to your love.
I my low times or moments of despair let me seek to cheer others,
and forget my own torments. In the nights I feel lonely,
let me be your hands of love, to sooth another’s need.

If inside there is torment, or an angry rolling sea,
let my countenance show joy and praising of your name.
If ever I am starving for a loving and affectionate embrace,
let me seek out another that needs a friend and for them fill that space.

All in short make me more like you lord, take away my selfish pride,
and remember you came to serve and save so that we evermore will not die.
So help be a vessel filled only with you, and desire nothing of myself, only to be filled with you.

Nights We Forget...

There is a fury deep that lurks hidden, surpressed to silence.
It burns like a smiths fire, raging and uncontrolled.
Hidden to hide the awful explosion of rage that consumes all in its path.

Darkness brings the painful truth of a seething frustration lost in it.
The stars bring the pangs of angers suppressed, biting back at its cage.
How is it that silence only fuels the rage and the fury suppressed only grows stronger?
It is the quiet storm that rents from inside and sears its mark.

Truly this night I must forget, the anger that I feel, god let it wash away.
My hands clenched in a cold sweat and teeth gritted hard for the battle,
for I must wage war with this unseemly foe inside and vanquish it before
it consumes me from inside.

Lord I pray help me battle this anger with the love that I can only get from you.
For on my own it will overcome me, therefore I stand hard pressed before you asking that you help me turn the tide of war.
I need your love to guide me, from this dark lonely maze built of my
frustration and anger, that I cannot find the way out of.
Let it burn now by the fire of your love that I may be released from the darkness that has taken hold.

Shine your light of love and let the night fade into the dawn of new day.
As I see your sun rise I cry the tears of a man free from the torment within,
and rejoice in the praises of your love.

variety time?please.....?

Sex can be completely mundane boring or even for many girls something they are just not into. It can also be exotic, arousing, sensual, exciting, fullfilling fun and a highlight of life. So how do we go for these extremes of intimacy? Well with men we are stimulated by the sight of a beautiful woman, we feel the soft touch of her skin, the warmth of her flesh to ours, the smell of her perfume and soft kiss of the lips and bam! we are ready to go, and naturally we assume so should she(after all our manly musk must have turned her into a full on nypho for us right?) we unless you are on a TV show or possible the last man on earth this is not so, and the male population sighs...For women foreplay starts in the mind, the soft words, the morning embrace when you circle her in your arms in the morning and whisper in her ear how much you love her for the little genuine things, when you encourage here how beautiful she is and how much she means to you.

Take the time to find out what makes her tick, for a woman to be aroused by you, you have to respect her and treat her with the care you would invest in something of priceless value. Take the time to excite and entice her (no this does not mean to walk by, flash her and say “like what you see") this means take the time to do the special things, to think of new ideas to surprise her and stimulate her mind.
Learn to verbalize the acts of love, to whisper those promises of things to come, learn not just to have sex, but to make love. I don't mean this as "oh the emotions and flaming feelings" I mean take the time to learn new things, to always improve and keep things exciting.
It’s not their job to take care of all our desires and keep things exciting its ours, they do so much for us we should take it up to be good lovers for them. that girl who you think is bored with sex or maybe does not respond the way she used to, well maybe you need to stimulate her more tell her she is beautiful and she will, tell her she is sexy and she will be, instead of all the time we spend complaining we don't get enough is time we could be spending spicing things up getting to know what excites her.
Start out with one thing, change it, add something new, and spend time doing something just for her. Then reinvent yourself and make yourself more attractive to her likes and needs and you will be surprised how far it goes.
grandpa said if you’re not progressing you are backsliding, and I think that that is true about sex, if it is always along the same lines with a few variations it gets dull, lifeless and a bore, so shake it up revolutionize it and explode (metaphorically guys ha) excite her with surprise acts of affection and touches, gentle kisses on her next and words or touches that help the anticipation. A woman’s mind is an imaginative, complex wonder that we can't hope to understand but that should not stop us from trying our best to excite love them mentally and physical. So make love to her mind as well as trying to make love to her body.
a woman’s mind is the window to her soul, spend more time giving her love ,appreciation and word and deeds of simple love and caring and they will take you further than boxes of chocolates or roses will. Ask the lord for ideas, or others or her and have fun a lot the way, half the fun is th

Loving my lord...

What does it mean to freely love the lord intimately? For me it means the complete and total ecstasy I feel when I let go and let my inhibitions go so that I can feel his love.
I have really been blessed to be able to feel this love and ecstasy in a tangible (I can feel his kiss) way. As a guy it’s easy for me to let my masculinity get in the way and miss out on the full orgasm of it all.
I get asked how you can get over the odd feelings or blocks to loving the lord intimately..... Honestly I was kind of iffy about it all and only in this last year have I really let loose with it. but let me tell you sex with the lord is far better than anything you can imagine, when you include him in you sex or even just fooling around, the experience is hightened,every touch feels like ecstasy and every sense tingles with anticipation. The ideas he gives the feeling, it melts into a whole feeling of continuous orgasm and exceptional sensation that only ends when you are exhausted and any more pleasure hurts.
You may think of this as an exaggeration, but I challenge you to try it. all of you out there who think it’s too out of reach or just is "not your thing “try it whole-heartedly and give it a really fair chance. The benefits far outweigh and hang-ups you might have. He truly is the greatest lover the only one I know who can make you feel fully satisfied in ways even you did not know felt good.
I am as into women as you can get but TTL in the last year I have grown closer and more intimate with my lord and lover and it has been my saving grace.
try it and let him really touch, kiss and caress you, let him take you over and posses you in your times of sex can multiply your pleasure infinite times over, give you good ideas and ways to stimulate your partener,or even just help you be a whole lot better ha.
In short try it, you will like it, get hooked on it and never turn back. Write and tell me any of you out there of your experiences.
A lot of times you just need a good partner to start loving the lord with, and that you can both experiment together and try new things. The first step is the hardest, after that there are endless possibilities so grab someone and try it today, I guarantee he won't disappoint.

thoughts

he paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Christmas Joy.

What is the greatest treasure of Christmas? Is it the lights, presents or stats we crave? Is it maybe the fulfillment of the need for finances or donations? For me I know it is not the mistletoe or the family around the fire; in actuality Christmas has been my dread for awhile not and probably my lowest time of the year. I am sure many of you probably have given up family, friends or loved ones to serve the lord where you are, so you know what I am getting at ha.

The greatest treasure of Christmas is to love unabashedly those around us, and love our lord with abandon as we celebrate him.christmas should be a time when the love we receive is overwhelming and almost too much. We in return should give that as well to others.christmas to me is a celebration of my love for one who does so much for me throughout the year that this is my time to truly show him how I feel for him.

Of course we should show him throughout the year, but Christmas should be 30 days of explicit love, affection and praise to him in our actions and words. And we are his hands of love to others to show them his love during these times as well. And I am not just talking about the glamorous shows, big stats or the ctps; those are well and good but what about the personal touch? The love and affection that brightens the lonely and brings the Christmas spirit? That to me is the most important, if we can't bring that into our own homes how can we do it for the masses?

In saying that..... Love you and wish I could show you how much I love and appreciate each person who has touched my life weather in prayer or otherwise. I really treasure it and thank you for being there for me it meant the world to me. I hope you have the most love filled Christmas yet.

new!!!

I have a new blog,its trialbyfire-perfectedinlove.blogspot.com

True beauty.

What make a woman beautiful? It’s an age old question that if you are a man you better be careful what you say. I live with 3 of the most beautiful women you will ever see, each has traits that make them special and timeless. They say that beauty comes from within and for each of these it is the truth, their spirits and attitudes are what make them gorgeous. Each one is beautiful on the exterior as well but what I treasure the most about them is the love they have for the lord and others that permeates their being. My wife (marieanne) has been sick for 3 years now and while in that time I forgot many of those traits I am having the benefit of rediscovering them over again.

Her smile lights the room and brightens even the saddest person. She has a love cup filled to overflowing. She truly is a vessel fit for the master and embodies what you would see in an angel.
Laila is the lioness, motherly, softspoken, cares for others more than herself and carries the world on her shoulders. She loves and speaks with a sincerity that comes from the heart. She is the flower crushed that smells of the sweetest perfume.
Abi has the look and spirit of the Mona Lisa, her smile demure, belies the passion for life behind it.
She hides behind a shy personality but she is the driving force behind our home and a wonderful husband, her smile makes you happy no matter your mood and her unselfish spirit and love make you want to be a better person.

In short these are only a few of each of their good traits but to list them all I have not the space.
Needless to say I my mind they are the true example of what beauty truly is which is not a skinny waistline or perfect shape. What makes a woman truly and completely desirable is what they have inside, and I believe they truly have.

reflection

Christmas is that time of year when we sit back think on our life and wonder where the year went. Well this year I actually am looking forward to this New Year, why? Well I will tell you. Each of the last few years (granted they all had their bright spots) I could pretty much tell you exactly what I was going up against most of it not super bright. And even though I find myself in limbo and uncertain about allot of things, I have allot of hope that this New Year will brings those victories we have fought for.

Oh I still battle feeling alone and lacking the passion or affection that I have missed (and still do ha). But all in all I have faith in the lord and those around me that this year will truly bring the light at the end of the tunnel in many ways for us.

So keep your eyes on He who saved us, because the enemy will try and steal it from you. If there is anything I have learned this last year it trusts the lord and put my faith in him no matter what. He truly is the ultimate and the everything; he truly is the love of my life and the one who got me through it all. He will never fail no matter the cost and I love him the more for it.

night to remember, when all where asleep...

Ever feel that you are just having "one of those days"when all you do seems to take longer or get messed up? well today was and has been one of those days.I had the unique experience of going to a persian christmas party,in witch I managed to mess up the power point presentation, the lord keeping me humble I guess ha.needless to say I discovered the art of praise and rising above, with incidentaly I found works wonderfully when having a bad day.

Funny enough when having a bad day you are always looking for that thing that will cheer you up,I think today the lord did not let that happen so I could learn to praise.the harder my day,the more lonely I feel ,or the more difficult the trial ,as long as I praise he helps me rise above.so as I am sitting here wishing for .... well we won't say,I can praise the lord because I know one way or another he will help me and sustain me through lifes rough patches.