Positive thinking anyone?

Is the saying true "if you try to be nice you finish last"? Not that in any way I classify as the
'good, sweet guy", in fact I was informed today that actually I am the overtly rotund, insincere
mean guy ha.but even as such at odd points in time I try to nice(rare as they may be.) and usually it seems that it gets me in the further outskirts of popularity.
I suppose that because if I am nice people take it as a granted that I will always be and if I have a rough day, suddenly I am a despot with the body of a Buddha.

I wish I could be one of the easy going, never flare, happy all the time, all around peachy guys.
witch one of the guys in my home is.becuase it seems(perhaps I am amiss.) that no matter
what they do or say good or bad they get what they want, and are so much more the popular for it.

I know all you say "hey you should not compare or strive to be popular”. well perhaps, but how would you feel if you try your best to be sweet, kind loving as much as you can ,positive etc, but
what it comes down to is not all that but how "fun" you are.

It can be depressing at times, and lord help me I am horrible as far as comparing goes. I see so many faults physical and spiritual it hard to see the positive and for me the temptation
for being depressed is high and I battle it allot.
I like to think I have a very thick skin and nothing people say hurts me,
especially the cracks and joke etc about me that abound.
I suppose I should I hear them allot but still it affects me,i guess I care to much about how others see me or I am too worried that I have hurt someone that it always seems to be in the
forefront of my mind.

I guess I just should accept the fact I am a bit odd(ok well maybe allot),
and not as good looking or charming as I would like and just pray that the lord helps me
the rest of the way. It got to be him; he is the only thing likable in me ha.
Anyhow all this to paraphrase that I need him. I am a screwed up, (as by bro-in-law André says)
a funny looker, irritating and all the rest, but... I have the lord and he is going to do it.

so hey it’s never as bad as it looks, or feels ha.so the lord will take care of it all if I let him witch I am working on as it be.
I love you all (even those of you who feel it’s you life’s duty to come up with jokes about me) and I wish you the contentment I seek. Good night and good luck with all my love.