My beautiful new princess.

AUNTIE MELO.
TIME FOR NAP.


DADDY TIME.
FAITH !

DADDIES NOSE.

A LITTLE BIT TIRED.

BABY GIRL.

for all of you out there who have either , not sent me hate mail or prayers I am having a new baby girl ,due june 2nd .I consider it a blessing to have more kids,I guess the lord heard the desire of my heart .

for all you who did send me hate mail ....... I am praying for you too.I find it funny that all the times I was going through difficuly times in my life or trials and wrote about it or asked for help and prayer,a few of you responded and I am thankful for you.but boy have a relasionship change happen ; and leterally hundreds of you come out of the woodwork to spread hate and negative opinions .

Kids are a gift from the lord ,and a blessing and should be celebrated rather than dumped on.I love the girl I am with,I have made many mistakes and done allot of things wrong but so have every one of us.so he who is without sin cast the first stone. I want to say through all this I have gained a new respect for some, namely mike mongomery and his sis lisa,my family and marty wo will always be not only my shepherd and coach but my friend.

I don't profess perfection,in fact I will hartily admit to being a mess,but life is hard enough without hearing the negative rantings of the masses.Be happy for the miracle of life and the fact that the lord forgives all and keeps on doing so.maybe some should look at themselves and ask if they are so righteous and free from fault to judge.

For you who felt and voiced I should go to hell .... well thats impossible ,I am saved by christ who forgives .are you better than him?are you so selfrighteous as to think you are better?let other live and experience life even if they make mistakes without your lofty whited seplicers and trust the lord for the outcome because you and I sure don't know it

life is hard enough without others tring to tear you down.so if you have nothing nice to say ,well.....shhhhhhhhhush the lord will do it one way or another and definantly not in the way you are. to the rest of you ,I love you ,thanks for your prayers I have needed them.the lord is crushing and remaking me and I am happy for it ,and happy in the new life he has given me.

lets all celebrate a new start its a wonderful thing.

Hello and good luck.

Sorry for the long absence my friends and random readers,allot has happened to me in the last few months allot of which took me by surprise as well.One thing I have learned for sure is my lack of perfection and the many glaring deficiencies which the lord wanted to highlight and make me change.I had built a image up in my mind of how good or strong I was in certain areas and the felt I should rightly be corrected in this ha.all in all I feel allot like a failure allot these days which good for me as I have been quite assured in myself for many years and now each day I see how much of a failure I am and how much I need Jesus,at this point I would rather be a colossal mistake maker and be dependent on the lord than do everything right.

There is of course no fear of that ,as I make mistakes on a hourly basis it seems even I try my best to avoid such things.I think I failed in everything from my work to being a good boyfriend dad or dad to be, but It's good because all the pillars I have built under my pride have been getting knocked down one by one and in its place I am working on having the lord be the only thing holding me and living in me.

Its been difficult to hear the ones I love tell me how I am failing or have failed day after day,but its been the greatest thing I could ask for is the honesty of others helping me to change. So even if I grind my teeth a bit, or get discouraged, its all for the best and I can learn from it no matter what.thanks to those of you who have been a support and help all these years to me,and the rest of you well......... just kidding I love ya'll. Take care and have a fun time ahead.

praise.

Lord help me. I am a weak and fearful man. My thoughts explode with tempest and stress, only You can keep me whole.
Without you I fall to pieces,and my works turn but to dust. You oh Lord are the only stone I can build on.
I am strong only in flesh but my spirit is weak and yearns for You to make me whole;
my limbs weaken and fail,but You always hold me up.
My passion compares but little to the love You have for me,and I long achingly for the kisses
of Your lips, Your words and Your seeds.
I fail so often Lord, and I fall so short of what I feel I need to do to please You or others,
I feel like such a disappointment.
I know you wipe away all the tears and fears,but I don't feel worthy, I am truly a weak and weary man in desperate need of you.
Thank You for holding me up in this time, thank You for giving me love in physical form,thank You I can walk again , and thank You that I can serve you even if just for today.
I honestly don't have faith for tomorrow,not even for this whole day, but I have faith My Lord and Lover for this moment and this hour, because I know You can get me through the rest no matter how hard, difficult, or impossible it may seem.
You truly are my all in all.

My Lover.....

my dear lover,my lord and king.how may words express the love I have for you? should it be in flowery expressions or in sober reverence?
neither perchance I think,but rather in the tones of passionate desire,of a need for you.
my desire for you is painful,I need you and it hurts.I can never get enough of you,every time I finish one of our sessions instead of feeling satiated,I want more.

let me kiss you and feel the softness of your lips,let me lie in your breast and feel your strength,let me kiss your body perfect as it is and feel your desire for me.
let me lie all night with you and feel the passion of your lovemaking.
I need and want you always,please fill my lonely heart and take away these feelings of pain and fustration from me.make me yours,actually you don't need too I am already, but I like it when you sweep me up and make me yours,over,and over again.
I love you now and forever,and nothing will change the need I have for you.

happy without clothes.

Tis nudity shame or folly? Purity or shame?
I percieve it to be neither,perchance it is a jolly display of the last true freedom left.
without clothes is how we are made,free from the inhibitions that bind about us,
true some should be covered,and others should endevour perhaps to wear less spandex.
Witch by the way is a privaledge, not a right and is reserved for looking better on women.
no you as a guy should not walk around in a borat swimsuit,and neither should you wear a pink thong about.
but the celebration of the simple nudity that makes us happy,truely is something to be celebrated.
weather you are breaking bottles,walking randomly about your house without clothes,waking up the girls in your home in the buff(age appropriate of course,and be on the lookout for grabbers.)
or just enjoying a game of naked scrabble,celebrate the way god made us.
And girls,we love how you look no matter what,so no excuses,complaints about your figures etc.
lets enjoy what How God made us,and the sexy things around us as well,just don't get too distracted.Just remeber what my good friend and shining example Ceci says... clothes where meant to be removed and happiness comes from nudity.
so lets follow the above said pioneer to a land of not too much of anything clothes. love ya

nonsense

this is a foolish post,all nonsense,I am a farside of the moon.

abi

ramblings.

As a cancer I suppose i am prone to the moodiness that ails my sign,
but tell if you will how to judge a friend?someone you are close tolove and care for right?
well in accordance how do you judge if they see you as a friend,or rather a means to a end?
do you judge it by how they act when they need you or in a good mood? or rather when they
seem to play a game?

I a not one for games I supose,perchance I am a little too simple;I am not good at the
"drama".I suppose I should be,but I am more just either I like and love you or I don't.
And I wish it was the same with other.I don't like guessing at peoples love so I think its safer
to just be a bit more reclusive.plus I don't like the prospect of getting hurt so I wonder if it is
safer to recluse?

simple love is the best,and more understandable for me ha. so if you are going to be a friend,give them your all,all your loveyour affection, understanding etc.
If you hold back ,or play a game, it only hurts.

enigma.

I have a friend, sweet, soft and kind. Yet prickly as a porkupine and holds you at bay while
drawing you in. Irresistible as fine chocolate yet is not to be tasted. The perfect frustration of nature,
she is the fair beauty in a high tower beckoning to come all the while knowing the face to sheer to climb.
The most beautiful rose that pricks the hand, is like Juliet holding all at bay.
I sense the only enigma is that of if she actually loves or only gives the fleeting glimpse.
like a riddle that can never be solved or a rhyme not to be deciphered ,I suppose the irritation is just for I suppose neither am I,Tis pity I suppose that that she passes but my way knowing that the glimpse I get is sufficient for my station.

Above me I suppose she is, as I wonder in disbelief I suppose also she is an addiction, perchance a compulsion of sorts that she is amused at seeing.

I admit I am just foolish to try and figure it out; a mason and a workman’s brain are all I will ever flout. Hers is an enigma worthy of Pliny or Plato too I am neither so I will content myself in the belief that she is a wonder of creations finest, that I will have to wait to understand.
Be it not in this life but the next.

words.

I think I hurt a dearest friend to day with something i said in foolish truth.
many time someone asks us something and you answer sincerily and it hurts them inadvertantly.
I never want to hurt any of my friends and especially this one.
I suppose I should not say the truth sometimes,what do you think?

I wish I could not be as stupid with my words,as I seem to be.
anything that hurts someone you love ,even if said from the heart,honestly,
without malice,if it hurts them it must be wrong.
I suppose this is putting yourself in there shoes,witch looking at it now I see
why it hurt.I hope my friend forgives me for the twit that I am.
I love them allot and never meant for it to hurt.
I suppose thats one of those times when someone asks you something you
look for a alternate answer ha.

I hope you don't make the same mistake I did,"the words of a friend,be they just or true,
spoken not in turn,are a deeper cut than most"HWL.
put a watch before my mouth oh lord and keep the door of my lips.
So this to say to you I am sorry,I hope you can forgive and still love me.

quiet pain.

Sometimes the greatest statement of feeling is silence.
its hurts too much to say what I feel,loss,anger,sadness,pain.
I cannot express the gloom I feel,the depths of loss.

I short ,the quiet pain I feel cannot be silenced.
the loss not recompensed ever,pray for me.
I cry inside and there is no stopping.lord suffice me.

the court jester.

I am tired of being a jester, a fool who does not want to
gain mocks, or laughed at all the way from his socks.
I wear no dainty jerkin or frock, so why do you treat me like a flock?
Am I a goose or grim? Or the woman in the shoe?
I think not, so why mock?

Is it perhaps that they see, a wall, or stone hedge in the fall?
Those who pass feel they must, batter me amuck.
I suppose I am destined to be mocked, for I look like the rock.
Those who see me feel they must, or they will run out of luck.
It has to be I suppose because of the trough of peoples hurtful prose,
who think they have new hurtful wink. But in truth they are all the
same in a non-imaginative vein.


It is my own stupidity that is to blame, for I like an ox
stumble about hampered by my own mass, which is allot.
I should be thankful for all my lord has given me,
even though I feel most times as useful as a tree.

I know he has made me thus, thick of sinew and bone,
but sometimes I wish my head was not a stone.
My writing is not pretty but each stroke comes from my heart,
and my words are not flowing, but they are sincere in every part.
I cannot jest and trade words with a swift and nimble tongue,
but I can praise or appreciate at each opportunity
with a keen and honest rung.

So hey I may be on ox, or bigger than an airplane box.
When I spin the world turns on axel, and tilts from side to side.
My handwriting is chicken scratch and my wit causes whiplash.
so jest away and have a laugh, and if you feel the need to bounce,
a jest or sharp remark to make your self have glee, well then I
am your man I guess, a bigger target than the rest.

how dreary to you like a bog that you must have fun at others
expense and use it as a log, to hoist yourself a little higher
and self proclaim your rep a little brighter. So I may be a dunce,
or a munce, hunce, or lunk but what are you I wonder
than you stand there calling me a dunderd?

I think it better to be a hulk, or bigger than a vault, than
to cut another down and leave him with a frown.
What if his day you just made, more miserable this way?
Would you like in turn, by another’s words be burned?
I think that you would not, so together lets share this thought,
to be loving in the ways we can, and seek others
reps to fan.
So that than we will have a blaze of true love in every way,
let’s appreciate the good and not forget god’s word,
where he tells his first command to love god as much we can,
then to others we should treat, with as much love as there
is sand, or pennies in a grand.

so before any more I delve, let’s just stop this here and tell,
let all your words be sweet and when in heaven we meet,
there will be no regrets, or words said foolishly in sets.
Only loving remarks to fill, all Christ children’s hearts with good will

A SHELL.

Is it human nature to feel like hiding from the world?
I know it’s a passing stage and one (being the cancer I am) happens at intervals for me.
its not the best or the most happy idea for me but when I feel unwanted or just a
irritation to others I just prefer to back away into my own shadow and hope no one notices.
It sounds like a good idea no? Well to my mind it is at the time ha.

It’s the enemy that tries to get me like this, and I just want to shut out the world.
I hate being in that cold zone with people, I like feeling like a family and close friends,
when its the icy friendships I feel like just retreating to my own world.
I suppose I need to see the Rom, 8:28 in everything and look through the eyes of praise
because only then can he work all these things out for me.

He must be my everything, my all in all because at the end of the day if I have no one else (
which is how it feels) I have him and that should always be enough. I think that he really is trying to hammer that one into me ha,but all joking aside I pray that I don't sink into my shell
I don't want to go back to how I used to be.

I just have to claim the full possession that is my saving grace and I know he will get me through it all. I love you Jesus.

Flavor of the month.

Ever feel like someone’s friendship with you was like Baskin Robbins 31 flavors?
Their friendship is contingent on how they feel, if they actually need your
friendship at that time and it’s convenient. Then when it’s all ok, they no longer need you
and you are as good as a leaf in the wind.

Why is it? I suppose its human nature to enjoy something when you need it, and when not
you cast it away for dead weight. I wonder if it is better to not have them,if it ends only when it is convenient. And starts when again they need the boost,not really concerned about the times you need them too.

I suppose it’s the lesson the lord has been trying to teach me that he is the only
friend I really have and can count on. Others come and go, but are always there.
To give up on friendships I think would be to admit that love is not worthwhile,
and that is something that would be just a lie.

So if you love, or have friends are friends always. Not just when it is right for you, but seek them out when they need you as well. Make their happiness paramount and strive to make a happiness contingent only on the lord and his love, then it will last no matter. And will be a true friendship.

An Idea.

Love starts with me, or you or whoever is that first person.
Many times we look for love to come to us, or wait for the passion
we think we deserve, All the while not realizing that it waits on us.
We consent only to the sacrifices we know will bring us gain,
but how is that a true sacrifice of love? It just a trade, one which
we hope will bring the happiness we seek.

How do we gain happiness, and full satisfying love? By being the one
to give it. When we act out of love not seeking any return it
is then that it finds us. The law of love is the pursuit of others happiness
and joy; their satisfaction and fullfillment.when we do this, we will find to our joyful surprise
that it has found us too. If you long for companionship, seek out someone
in need of a friend. If you need passion seek to give it to the lonely one beside you.
If you need happiness, seek to cheer up one who is sad.

By giving and living the law of love will we find the love we desire?
When we give of ourselves to fill another’s need for love it is then that we
are made whole.

A BIT'O DITTY

I may love her she thinks amiss, with passion for her beauty
that doth not demise. Though changes and occasions
may alter shape or size, it matters not though betide.

I love her where ever she may plod, in snowfall or in rain,
I think her beautiful more at the end of a long drawn out day.
Her eyes they glisten in playful abondon, as though she forever young
had supped at the fountain of life and forever in her it sprung.

I love her sly unobtrusive smile, her shy demure cute way,
I love when she make all my frowns become smiles in her own
playful way.

I love that she can make me happy with a smile, or a touch,
and err but a glance from her make most burdens become dust.
What’s best is her beauty, which she thinks she does not have,
is evident in every way no matter if she is wearing rags.

so to you I say I see only beauty, no pockmarks or blemishes
to bear in you I only see beauty inside

love in pieces.

When love is a dream unrequited, it burns like a hot iron searing to the very core,
and nothing can escape it. When I love someone, it is with abandon, not in bits or pieces.
How can you say you love someone if you love just a part, or with reservation?
We take those we love in whole, not excluding them for better friends, but treating all alike.
How can you take for granted love or a friendship? Is it so only when it is convenient to your cause or you have nothing else?

A love or a friendship is a treasure worth more than any momentary aberration of pleasure.
Much time we take for granted our friends or only pretends when we need something from them.
The rest of the time we play favorites and make our distinction known.
We pretend all is fair in friendship, love and war while at the same time playing one against the
other to gain our advantadge.is this real love or friendship? Or is it just hedging our bets so that we have what we need with the least possible strain to ourselves?

When is friendship a false front? When you are distinctly playing favorites. When you pretend to be equal but at the same time making clear who is your favorite. I hope I always love and treat all my friends with the same love and attention, because I know what it’s like to have others treat me otherwise. In saying this I do not feel angry or bitter with them, only sad I suppose at the pretense they have, they like to think it is the circle that brings in others, but in actuality they make very clear they have two. One is for the pretense and the other is a distinct line that you are not allowed into. I love my friends and family with a passion that sears me, and makes me want to do anything to make them happy. Even if many times I do not does it right hope I never lose that.

And I hope I never take for granted the love or friendship others entrust me with, it a treasure worth more than anything else. I will love those I do with a passion that fuels my life want to live each day not looking back saying’s wish I told them I loved them more, or I wish I did not hold back”. I want no regrets, no wishing I had loved more, or included others more.

Mock I if you will, call me a fool, or whatever. I have wasted much of my life in living for myself, I want to spend it loving others, and may my lover

The sacrifice of self.

Do we truly give all of ourselves? Or is it mostly out of a small portion we feel we can part with?
Is it that we truly give till it hurts, or just until it stings? I say stings because it’s that little prick where most of us stop at, the little owe so to speak.
Not the pain and real anguish that brings forth the pure gold. How would I know if something is worth giving? If I don't want to, this may seem simplistic and I am in no wise a most sacrificial person, but I desire to give my lover all. someone joked to me today that I have to stop always answering no to things,(for those who are wondering, when someone asks me something ,I allot of times jokingly say no as a standard answer. then of course I say yes afterward ha.)Because she knows I will say yes and do it anyhow after.

It made me think though how do I come off to others? Am I really contrary and annoying? Do I react unveiled most of the time? Am I hard to work with? I have come to the conclusion that yup I do believe I am all the above (any who do not believe ask my wife.)It’s my pride that ultimately gets in my way, my arm of the flesh (that accursed thing) that causes me to be the gruff, mean person. Many times I just have not surrendered to him fully right then. I have allowed my feelings anger, fustration and pride to take over.

I am not giving till it hurts; the lord wants all of my mind, body and soul, and when I am fully his you can see it on my face and body. One thing I do know is I will never give up, He means too much to me. Even if I have to grit my teeth and take the breakings, it’s worth it. In the long run I have seen that no matter how much he breaks me, he still loves me, and that makes it worthwhile.

He takes away nothing, but that he gives me back eternity. I sacrifice and he builds me a palace, I give him those I love and he fills me with a passion that rivals only the sun. He gives me anything my heart desires; in return he asks me only that I be fully his. How can I refuse? No matter the pain or cost that now in my mind seems great, I am assured will pale in comparison with the spiritual rewards he gives.

So all out there, sorry for the person I am, as I yield more to the lord and less to myself I will be someone you can be proud and happy to live with and serve the lord beside. Sorry It has taken me so long, and I am still far from the man I want to be (with the lords help), but I won't give up trying. As long as I am willing to keep fighting he will do the work. The breakings are guaranteed, I only have to yield to the remaking so that he truly lives in me.

This I desire most, that you can look at me and say"jesus lives in him “for it is not I that live but he that lives in me”. It’s a work in progress, thank you for putting up with me in the mean time. I love you, god bless you, and keep you giving. Only he can do it.ILY

True love.

What is sacrifice, or real love? By this I am talking about our love for the lord or others.
What would we do, or what lengths would we go to make others happy?
Allot we just think of ourselves, our own little world or happiness. What’s good for me?
What makes me happy and secure?
Needless to say actually none of that matters, it’s how we strive to give of ourselves to others
or the lord that does. many times if we feel the world is not revolving around us we are in
a tizzy thinking"whats wrong"ha.this to me is the beauty and wonderful truth of the law of love and the one wife, that we are to constantly be thinking of ways to make others happy .
Not that I am wonderful at this but I think we are lacking this allot (this includes me.)
If we share the love we want or have we get more in return.try it you may be pleasantly surprised